I Have A Deficit

Have you ever been attracted to someone but can’t
stand to be in the same room with them? I currently find myself in the midst of
this puzzling and utterly frustrating predicament. This man, who will remain nameless,
is profoundly chauvinistic, superficial, judgmental, arrogant, brash and not to
mention, disrespectful. Intellectually,
let’s just say his wheel is still spinning but the hamster is dead but
physically, well, you get my drift.

The fact that I catch myself making bedroom eyes at
the man who is the representation of everything I loathe is
disconcerting, to say the least. Loud
attention seekers with washboard abs are usually not my type, in fact, they’re
never my type. So why do I find this man
that I want to strangle the majority of the time attractive?

There must be a psychological
explanation for my condition, some Freudian theory I must have given the
once-over from my psychology course back in college. Since my situation is too
delicate to discuss with another, I’m left with no other choice but to self-diagnose.
From my limited psychological expertise, I’ve concluded that I suffer from an
acute case of… some form of  “self-deprecating deficit.” That’s the best I could come with. I’ll let you know when I’m cured.