So you’re sitting across
from him at the dinner table, engaging in the habitual small talk routine, when
it suddenly occurs to you that he has everything you would want in a mate. He’s
respectful, family oriented, has impeccable manners and is a perpetual
gentleman. You’re on a date with the quintessential “nice” guy, just the kind of man
from your girlish reveries you’ve always fancied bringing home to mom and dad.
Except, your courtship (if you could call it that) is lacking that pivotal
element so essential for an intimate relationship, chemistry.
from him at the dinner table, engaging in the habitual small talk routine, when
it suddenly occurs to you that he has everything you would want in a mate. He’s
respectful, family oriented, has impeccable manners and is a perpetual
gentleman. You’re on a date with the quintessential “nice” guy, just the kind of man
from your girlish reveries you’ve always fancied bringing home to mom and dad.
Except, your courtship (if you could call it that) is lacking that pivotal
element so essential for an intimate relationship, chemistry.
Have you ever half-heartedly
agreed to a date because you hoped that after getting to know him better, the dating gods would send a jolt of chemistry through your core, thus
aligning what’s in your head with your heart? I have. My attempt to interfere
with the decisions of the powers that be has taught me an important lesson,
just because he’s a “nice” guy, doesn’t mean you should date him.
agreed to a date because you hoped that after getting to know him better, the dating gods would send a jolt of chemistry through your core, thus
aligning what’s in your head with your heart? I have. My attempt to interfere
with the decisions of the powers that be has taught me an important lesson,
just because he’s a “nice” guy, doesn’t mean you should date him.
A while ago, I stumbled upon
the “True Forced Loneliness movement” and I must say, it was by far the most
shameless display of self-pity I had encountered in quite awhile. If you’re
unaware of this movement, it’s basically about a bunch of pompous men who post
videos of themselves online and relentlessly lament their permanent state of singlehood.
Their raging double standards and
misogynistic ways are palpable. I mean, these men can pick and choose
who they want to date and when we women do it, we are permanently branded with
these little gems, superficial, gold-digger or just plain ignorant — which is
why I’ve dubbed this notion the “nice” guy’s
cry for sympathy. If their dislike for women is so grand, why the burning
desire to date them? Hell, why not play for the other team? All I will leave
you with on this topic is that the reason why these so-called “nice” guys are
single is evident the minute you click onto their video posts.
the “True Forced Loneliness movement” and I must say, it was by far the most
shameless display of self-pity I had encountered in quite awhile. If you’re
unaware of this movement, it’s basically about a bunch of pompous men who post
videos of themselves online and relentlessly lament their permanent state of singlehood.
Their raging double standards and
misogynistic ways are palpable. I mean, these men can pick and choose
who they want to date and when we women do it, we are permanently branded with
these little gems, superficial, gold-digger or just plain ignorant — which is
why I’ve dubbed this notion the “nice” guy’s
cry for sympathy. If their dislike for women is so grand, why the burning
desire to date them? Hell, why not play for the other team? All I will leave
you with on this topic is that the reason why these so-called “nice” guys are
single is evident the minute you click onto their video posts.
Back
in college, all I would ever hear were the self proclaimed “nice” guys rant
about the deceitful nature of females. According to them, women only say they
want a nice guy to avoid looking shallow, when in reality, they secretly lust
after their abusive counterparts. While there are some women who are wired that
way, a majority of us really do like nice guys. “Nice” is wonderful, but “nice”
will only get you so far. So you’re nice, should I bow down to you? Present you
with an award? You’re supposed to be nice. In my opinion, nice is right up
there with thou shalt not steal and honor thy mother and father.
in college, all I would ever hear were the self proclaimed “nice” guys rant
about the deceitful nature of females. According to them, women only say they
want a nice guy to avoid looking shallow, when in reality, they secretly lust
after their abusive counterparts. While there are some women who are wired that
way, a majority of us really do like nice guys. “Nice” is wonderful, but “nice”
will only get you so far. So you’re nice, should I bow down to you? Present you
with an award? You’re supposed to be nice. In my opinion, nice is right up
there with thou shalt not steal and honor thy mother and father.
What
some men do not realize is that a “nice” guy is not the equivalent of the right
guy. Just because you are nice does not mean you are entitled to be with every
woman on the planet. Frankly, I’m tired of listening to some men praise
themselves for being nice. It’s always, “I’m a nice guy, go out with me, or I’m
a nice guy, why won’t you go to bed with me?” Get over yourself. That haughty
sense of entitlement is just one more thing that will keep the ladies away. And
might I add, grouping all women into a single category, will not further your
cause either.
There
is a huge difference between being single and desperation. Like you, we have
standards and “nice” is just one characteristic in a long list of other
important qualities we hope to find in a mate. So you “nice” guys out there,
stop resting on “nice” because you need a lot more than that to sweep a woman
off her feet.
is a huge difference between being single and desperation. Like you, we have
standards and “nice” is just one characteristic in a long list of other
important qualities we hope to find in a mate. So you “nice” guys out there,
stop resting on “nice” because you need a lot more than that to sweep a woman
off her feet.
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